column is dedicated to exposing myths about love-making
Heaven on Earth now!
Tantra, from the Sanskrit word for fabric, is an ancient term that embraces a wide range of ideas and practices variously associated with Harrapan, Hindu, Buddhist and Taoist belief systems. In its broadest sense, tantra refers to a spiritual path that seeks direct spiritual experience through meditation, the use of ritual sacraments and sometimes, ecstatic sexual practices.
In essence, the physical world is seen as reflecting the greater cosmic order, and enlightenment is taught to be as readily attainable by direct experience of the material world as by the practice of monastic asceticism. Tantric yoga teaches that spiritual unity with the divine can be achieved in union with a partner. The physical act of love thus becomes, both figuratively and literally, an act in which the dualities of spirit / matter, mind / body and self / other are transcended. Perhaps the finest expressions of this longed-for state of blissful transcendence occur in the Yab-Yum (male principle-female principle) drawings that abound in tantric art, here represented in the Amitayus (Buddha of Long Life) and Kuntozangpo (Primordial Buddha) images.
Tibetan thangka paintings are two-dimensional images of multi-dimensional worlds that depict the many deities and their various spheres of influence. Beautiful artworks in their own right, they also serve, to the initiated, as mnemonics that map the esoteric coordinates of the physical, psychological and spiritual planes. Authentic transmission of the truths hidden within these images was only assured, over time, by the codification of complex symbolic systems handed down by generations of dedicated artists. Underlying each sinuously swirling image is a mathematically precise grid defining the exact arrangement of every element in the composition. Each angle, each colour. each object, fulfills its predestined place in a grander design, and the glory of the creation of expression lies in cleaving as closely as humanly possible to an ineffable ideal.
In todays "anything goes," sexually liberated world, it is distressing to see how many women are not enjoying great sex! Everyone deserves the very best possible experiences in the magical world of lovemaking, yet not every woman describes their love lives as fitting the bill. And there are reasons why this is so. Society has, unfortunately, laid some limiting conditioning on us in the form of sexual taboos, along with sometimes vaguely ingrained notions that sex is somehow "dirty" or "something to get over with." Sex can be the doorway to some of the most powerful, wonderful, even mystical, experiences human beings can have. It is regrettable nobody taught us how to have these kinds of experiences. That can change.
Certain myths held in our culture prevent women from enjoying the fullness and richness of good lovemaking. The most destructive myth to be debunked is, "Ill have good sex when Mr. Right comes along ~ hell know just what to do." Well, most of us are still waiting. What first must be understood is we are responsible for making ourselves feel good, because we know exactly what we like. Now this involves a level of participation new to most women. This page presents suggestions and techniques discovered through experimentation in the hope youll be inspired to experiment, too. You wont regret your decision. (Nor will your partner/s!) These methods are proven to help women (and men) have consciousness-raising, full-body orgasms rather than just genitally located ones. The difference is tremendous.
Tantric lovemaking shows us how to run sexual energy through all our erogenous zones for a much more intense, full body experience. By consciously running energy through all the chakras in the body, great amounts of energy are created, and in turn, used to revitalize and renew you, your lover and the planet.
Sexual energy is generated in the genitals, which are the seat of the "average" sexual act. Most people do not raise their sexual energy past this area while experiencing orgasm. And that feels pretty darn good. But theres more! After all, we have a whole body to work with! We can have the kind of bursting fireworks orgasms weve only heard about by learning to focus sexual energy in our genitals, and then raise it up, through stimulation, to the higher sexual zones. The goal is to set up currents of sexual energy coursing through the entire body, and eventually to explode in the head and the heart as well as the genitals. Lets explore some ways to accomplish this.
During lovemaking the erogenous zones above the genitals must be activated through manual stimulation. A little anatomy refresher will help us here. In both sexes a nerve runs from the genitals all the way up the length of the body to the upper lip and if firm pressure is applied to the area between the lip and nose, sexual excitement will increase. French kissing brings about the same result. If you arent near your partners mouth, extend your tongue and wiggle it just as if you were kissing your lover. Try to get past embarrassment at looking foolish or old taboos against sticking out your tongue. Ancient Hindu art depict couples employing this method; try it and youll find it increases sexual feelings. Have your partner place a finger or two partially down your throat for an arousing experience. (Some women find sucking the fingers very exciting, as well.) In general, any technique that creates movement for the tongue and mouth will involve higher chakras and raise your sexual energy.
As the mouth and throat are stimulated, sexual energy is automatically pulled upwards. Because the heart is positioned between the genitals and mouth area, it naturally receives stimulation from the energy flowing through it. People report outpourings of love and increased sexual response when this occurs. To further enhance this process, pinch one nipple firmly at its base between the thumb and forefinger. If you can do this until you feel a slight burning sensation, you will pass through the discomfort stage for even increased arousal. This works almost unanimously for women (experiment and discover which nipple is most sensitive) and for many men as well. Squeezing the breasts hard also pulls sexual energy upward, opens the heart, and is very pleasurable for the woman. Whatever method you prefer, please give lots of attention to the breasts ~ when the heart is awakened, everything in life is more enjoyable.
Other ways to raise sexual energy include such unconventional methods as hair-pulling (not to the point of extreme pain, please), placing a leg over your partners chest, which inhibits lung expansion (and strongly affects the sexual response!), and head squeezing ~ all are very effective. Now, youre probably thinking: I ll look ridiculous doing these things. Rest assured your lover wont think its ridiculous when he sees how excited you are ... in fact, its very likely youll be the hottest thing hes ever seen. Be daring ~ take a chance and find out for yourself!
And now for the big guns in our "great sex" arsenal. Perhaps the single most powerful process a woman can do to promote an outrageously large sexual response is to alternate between squeezing her PC (pubococcygeus) muscles, then using those muscles to push out. (This is the "bearing down" women do in childbirth ~ the same muscles also used to stop the flow of urine once in progress are the PC muscles). A series of perhaps three or four contractions of her vaginal muscles alternated with one long, strong, push affects women in unbelievably powerful ways. Many women experience tremendous orgasms after only a few repetitions of these. Please remember the vaginal, not the anal, muscles are employed here.
The longer you can push out, the stronger youll be able to "squeeze" afterwards ... this allows your muscles to relax without losing any sexual tension. As you continue, sexual tension builds while the pushing out relaxes the PC muscle enough to be able to squeeze hard again. The more often you do these exercises, the bigger and stronger the PC muscle gets, creating more feeling and a much larger sexual response. Just squeezing alone doesnt quite do it, though is in itself, quite enjoyable. Now your partner is going to love you for this ... all men greatly approve of this technique because it increases sensation for them, as well.
At first youll probably have to concentrate a bit to get this going. Try practicing solo during your own personal lovemaking sessions until you can do the series relatively easily. (Indeed, if you arent involved in a relationship, please practice this way! Just because youre alone doesnt mean you cant enjoy, and dont deserve great sex. Besides, it's a great body toner and overall beautifier ~ it even makes you glow!) You will be amazed at the heightened sensations youll feel after only a short while. Remember, the key here is the "pushing out"!
Make love with your whole
body, practice safe sex
"Tantra Techniques" is written by Denise St. Denis
Soul's a Goal
at top of page adapted from